Dear Mr Dastagir
Hello, my name is Aaron and I am here to raise awareness about an issue around the school which students know as “banter”. You did an assembly a few months ago on this topic and people might have ignored your presentation. I suspect this because students are still using the phrase “it’s just banter” around the school.
The fact is that saying, “it’s just banter”, makes it seem acceptable to say rude comments around the school and in the community, making people feel uncomfortable. Moreover it could destroy the reputation for the school.
Your students are insulting other pupils with rude comments about race, mothers etc and then saying that “it’s just banter”. In my opinion, people say that because they are “joking”. However the victim does not see it as banter. This is not acceptable because they are only thinking of their own feelings but not anyone else’s. Furthermore, the victim may feel worse because the student insulting him does not see the serious side of the insult: the part that is offensive.
Another use for the word “banter” is as an excuse for being rude as by saying, “it’s just banter”, they are trying to blame the offended student of wasting time to get out of trouble although the insult is very rude and the offender knows it is offensive. In addition it also shows a lack of responsibility as instead of owning up or apologising they try to make insults seem acceptable because they do not see it as serious as other students see it.
I said earlier that people had ignored your assembly. The reason is because students enjoy “banter”. It also because it causes fights for students to watch which allows students to use cusses for more “banter” or just to cause even more trouble. Most of the time fights are caused by a student taking banter too far and then making the matter worse by saying “it’s just banter”. Racist banter is usually when it is too far, or sometimes it is because mothers have been cussed.
Banter is an issue which needs to be dealt with around the school because banter covers up bullying. Furthermore the community around our school will feel uncomfortable and the school’s reputation will go down. Eventually the school will be closed down due to the poor behaviour of certain individuals using banter as an excuse to be rude to others.
In conclusion, what I would like to see is a therapy where the student can understand why banter is not acceptable. I’m suggesting this because just giving a sanction will not help but just make matters worse. However if they still ignore the advice then a serious sanction , such as red cards, should take place because you have already done an assembly on banter. Another way of solving the problem is to have more teachers supervising the corridors and outside the school because this is where banter occurs most, when teachers are not there to see it happen.
I hope you have listened to my feedback because this is an important issue in the school
Yours sincerely
Aaron Asenso Boateng
April 15, 2015 at 11:42 pm
I like your paragraph that begins: ‘The fact is that saying…’ – I think it should be placed earlier in your essay.
You have explained your views and your meaning is generally clear throughout BUT you have not yet achieved your Transactional Writing badge.
Targets
Aim to re-draft at least one paragraph in order to achieve the Perfect Paragraph badge
http://achieve.community.edutronic.net/stage-one-writing/perfect-paragraph/
How will you meet this criteria?
Use commas to separate clauses.
Always re-read and edit sentence length and tense.
Structure – do you need to group some ideas together in order to improve the flow for your reader?
May 10, 2015 at 11:08 pm
Hello Aaron,
You have really worked on this and it shows.
‘Before you have fully achieved the badge(s), I have one more target for you:
Read all of this aloud and try to work out where you have repeated yourself – edit your piece and then try to read it again.
Please see me if you need help,
Mr North
June 4, 2015 at 8:14 am
Nearly there.
You have achieved Perfect Paragraph but you have a little work to do before you get to your Transactional writing badge.
Focus on your expression, for instance, have you confused ‘of’ with ‘for’?
Edit your structure – have you grouped your ideas together effectively? How might you do this? Do the order of some ideas need to be changed?
June 15, 2015 at 2:59 pm
Please have one final proof-read – where have you confused ‘of’ with ‘have’?
June 16, 2015 at 5:13 pm
Transactional Writing Achieved!